G shits on the floor a lot. She's a 16 year old bichon cocker spaniel and old age has kicked in when it comes to matters of the bathroom. I don't mind. She's the one of two childhood dogs I have left in my life and her sweet snuggles and years of dedication far outweigh a little time spent sanitizing the floor.
My parents recently went on a trip to Whistler and I happily offered to take G for the week. C and I have a dog of our own (B), a sweet energetic young thang that reminds G of how old she is. To give her a break from the rumbles and tumbles of puppy-hood, I brought her along to work with me. Super! Everyone thought she was the darn cutest (she is super cute). She charmed everyone and we were having a great time hanging at the office.
I was keeping a close eye out for any incidentals, but hourly strolls outside seemed to alleviate the threat of an indoor accident... until it didn't.
We've had some new construction going on at the office and I was pleased that a nice guy I graduated with got the job. I considered him a cool kid of sorts, and still feel a little honored if he speaks to me. This is dumb, but it's a part of my social awkwardness! He was waiting to get a word in with my boss so we were chatting in the office, he paid G some nice attention, we caught up on life a little, etc. I was thinking to myself, "look at you go, having a normal conversation and not breaking out in a sweat hardly at all, keep up the good work, friend!!", he was mid-sentence telling me that his wife is pregnant and their baby is due in a month when my eyes are drawn to the big pile of poo that he is standing in and casually, unbeknownst to him, spreading around on the office floor. My mind went blank. So so blank.
I'm not sure if he noticed my sudden awkward silence but he ended off his sentence and headed back out to work, tired of waiting for boss-man, while I watched a poo trail follow him on out the door. G and I shared a FUCK look before I grabbed some toilet paper, bleach cleaner, and a Swiffer Wet Jet that I found stashed in the bathroom. We were mostly in the clear when my boss got off the phone. As he headed out back to talk to the victim of G's poo attack he kindly asked, "oh no, did she pee?".
"Yeah, shoot." I replied as I inconspicuously tossed a bag full of TP and shit into the bathroom garbage...
I went over this situation about 10 million times in my head and almost cried (embarrassment? regret for how I handled it?) before I realized how fucking hilarious it was. I'm still torn between feeling brutally humiliated and piss-my-pants laughing at the situation. Also, I am now aware of what a huge jerk I am for not saying anything. Welcome to social anxiety, yo.
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